Thoughts in Transit (Vlog)

Yesterday was a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Instead of explaining to you what I mean, I'm just going to quote some of the things I wrote in my journal.

These were written on the train from Rennes to Paris:

"I don't know why I keep feeling so sad. I think it's because I keep thinking about the goodbyes instead of thinking about the future. Because why should I feel so down? I'm going to Italy. But I know it's normal to feel sad about leaving people."

-some time elapses-

"I realized that sadness stems directly from happiness, at least for me. When I'm sad, it's because I miss something that used to make me happy. I feel so sad because I've had such good times over the last few months. I'm even grateful for the really crappy moments of homesickness or of regretting that I have to lose some of the people I've met in France because that proves that I've had some incredible moments of happiness. But I can't be sad about that because it's just time to move onto other happy moments."

"I'm just so happy that I get to live this. I know this isn't the end, it's just the end of one chapter. I will come back, maybe to live again. Who knows. I'm going to make my own way in life. Even though I know it might be hard financially, I'm not meant to stay in one place doing one thing for too long. I lose perspective and I forget the reasons to love life! 

I'm also realizing I don't need to fret about being alone for a few days. I don't need other people to be around to validate that I'm having a good time."

And then I made my way from Paris Montparnasse (train station) to the bus station. The "little catastrophe" to which I refer in the video is actually just that the stop where I was supposed to transfer metro lines was closed, so I ended up going way out of my way with a really heavy suitcase up and down Paris metro stairs. Fun, let me tell you. But I didn't end up being late or anything so that was good.

Then I made a little video because I was feeling in need of conversation and nobody was there to talk to but my phone camera...sorry about the fact that it's a link again :p

Thoughts in Transit video

And then after the video things got weird...meaning I eventually got to Italy.

Thoughts on the way there:

"It's really weird how the sights of the French countryside have become so familiar looking to me. I'm sure if someone showed me a random picture I could probably guess where it is."

Much later (like 7am):

"Just had my first unsuccessful communication with an Italian. He didn't speak English or French and I don't speak Italian so..."

"It was difficult just getting these people onto a bus and sitting because everyone had to be in the exact seat they wanted, next to their wife or friend or whatever. That wouldn't have happened in France, the French are much less aggressive. So I'm first-hand witnessing where the Italian temper comes from..."

"Then there's the issue of the "line" in the women's bathroom. It's like a stampede of women all shoving their way to the front--if you're not aggressive, someone WILL literally step right in front of you, even if you have your hand right on the door."

"I feel so helpless, at least in France I know what's going on around me even if there are bits and pieces that I don't understand. With Italian, I understand little to nothing other than what's similar to French or Spanish. I'm pretty sure there are no other English speakers on the bus but there are a few girls speaking French and I heard they're going to Florence."

And then I proceeded to sleep a little bit and listen to the girls chat because I had nothing better to do. And guess what, I understood it all. Ohhh yeah.

Now that I'm in Florence I hear more of an even balance of French, English and Italian so that's a huge relief. For example, right now I hear some obnoxious American girls out in the lounge. I'm sorry to say it, but we really do have a terrible accent. English is just an ugly language.